Once upon a time, there was a cat called Fuzzy and her owner, Vanessa. They lived in a city called Luminose City. Fuzzy was a ginger cat with white paws and black stripes on her back and tail.
One day, Fuzzy went into the backyard and looked through the fence. Suddenly, a great Dane, as tall as a tower, came up to the fence in front of Fuzzy and stared at her with a fierce look on his face.
Fuzzy was trembling with fear.
Carefully, Fuzzy backed away from the fence when suddenly, the great Dane jumped over the fence and chased Fuzzy around the backyard, barking so loudly that it was heard all around Luminose City!!!
Fuzzy was almost ready to give up when she remembered there was a big tree in the backyard so she ran up the tree and stared down at the great Dane that was looking up at her and growling madly at her, then, to Fuzzy's relief, the great Dane turned around and walked down the street and out of sight.
Fuzzy was so happy that she forgot that when she looked down at the ground, she got a bit scared so she tried to get down from the tree, but she was too scared to come down.
Just then, Vanessa came out of the backyard door calling, "Fuzzy! Fuzzy! Where are you girl?"
She was very worried now. Where was her cat? Vanessa looked all around town but couldn’t find her anywhere!!!
Poor Fuzzy was stuck in the big tree until Vanessa got home and decided to sit under the tree to help her calm down. Suddenly, she looked up and saw a ginger tail waving on the trunk of the big tree.
Vanessa gasped in surprise. “Fuzzy was there all along!!” she said as she climbed up the tree to get her down.
When they got down to the ground, Fuzzy jumped out of Vanessa’s arms and ran into the house. Vanessa gasped in fright and ran into the house to find her all cuddled up in a little furry ball on Vanessa’s bed.
After that, Fuzzy and Vanessa lived happily ever after, without any great Danes.
Good story, Lara. You used picture-in-the-mind words to describe the characters and their actions. I especially like the fact that you used a simile to describe the Great Dane.
Hi Lara
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this piece of work. You have helped to create a clear picture in the readers' mind through the use of imagery using; similies, adjectives and adverbs. I also like the way you have used a variety of words instead of said; gasped, relief and calling. You have also kept the readers' attention by using a variety of sentence beginnings. I would like to see if you could have ended the story in a slightly different way but still giving the same information.
Well I like my ending best because I think the ending without any Great Danes really goes with the begining and it goes well with the topic of the story but thank you anyway =3
DeleteWell done Lara, I like the way you can justify why you wrote what you did.
ReplyDeleteThank you Mrs Atkins. :-D
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